When living with chronic
illness or chronic pain it is very easy to become completely focused on
avoiding symptoms, consumed with symptoms or consumed with the daily
challenges of survival and thus forget to focus on “Living.” It
is also very easy to allow your symptoms or fear of symptoms to control
your life completely.
This is very understandable. Illness and pain can be all consuming and
very frightening, but continuing to live is exactly what you need to
do. Finding a healthy balance between your limits and living is
essential for your mental, physical and spiritual well-being.
You don’t want to let your illness/pain become your complete identity
and control your life completely. This is very important so
that you don’t lose other important parts of who you are that enhance
your life and so you don’t drown in the negativity of illness.
Yes, being ill is an important aspect of your identity and worthy of
respect and recognition, but it is not all of who you are. It is
a piece of who you are and your other pieces need to be respected and
recognized as well. You are still a parent, a partner, an
individual, a friend, etc.
Yes, in many cases illness/pain does often dictate our lives to
sometimes an extreme degree, but there are areas where you can take
control for a period of time. You can choose to participate in life and
enjoy life in spite of your illness/pain. Do not cut yourself off
from all life affirming activities or your life will be lacking in
meaning, purpose and enjoyment. Find alternatives to your
limits.
This does not mean you want to throw caution to the wind and be
wreckless with your health care, but rather you want to find some
balance. You of course don’t’ want to do anything that will cause
severe distress or exacerbate symptoms too much, but you can pick some
activities that are life affirming that will have a minimal impact on
your symptoms.
For example if eating out at a restaurant gives you a migraine or
breathing difficulties, then having a nice dinner at home with loved
ones or a picnic outside is a great alternative. If riding an
exercise bike is too strenuous and causes symptoms then a nice stroll
around the block or the park will be just as beneficial. If being
in public places is problematic for you then maintaining relationships
by phone or computer will sustain you.
Although we want to be respectful of our limits and learn to live
within them, there may be times when we want to push ourselves beyond
our limits just a little.
If I never did anything because I was in pain or having fear, then
basically I would have no life at all. Much of my living takes
place during great pain and suffering and fears. I don’t
let it stop it me. Yes, there are days when I say, “I need to lay
down and rest today,” or “the price to pay for this benefit is too
high” but there are also days when I push forward even though I don’t
feel like it and function within the discomfort.
For instance, a few weeks ago I had the makings of a minor migraine and
for some reason, my writing “muse” came alive during the midst of
this. All I wanted to do was lay down, but instead I took a hot
shower, massaged my trigger points and then let my “muse’s” thoughts
flow out on the paper and thus I now have a new article for my site to
edit and upload. Sometimes I can do some of my best work in the
midst of great pain.
Once when visiting Arizona I was planning a trip to visit friends in
California I hadn’t seen in years, but I was experiencing a lot of
symptoms. I debated whether to go and decided this was just not
something I could pass on regardless of how I felt. I developed
half a migraine on the trip and the trip was very hard on me, but in
the midst of this I visited my friends, ate Rice Dream ice cream and
took a walk. The next day the headache was gone and I went
to the ocean for the first time in my life and had a spectacular
time. I had another wonderful day visiting my friends the
following day and then went back to Arizona.
I was very happy I had pushed myself beyond my limits. If I had
allowed my pain to control me I would have missed this incredible
opportunity to spend time with friends, have a wonderful visit to
California and enjoy the magic of the ocean.
Before going to Arizona I was full of fear of making this trip. I
worried about what would I do if my car broke down on the way and I
ended up in the middle of nowhere with no car and no safe place to
live. I worried about all the millions of symptoms I would have
on my way there. A friend said to me “Cyn, no matter what
happens, you will survive.” I was not so sure that they were
right, but I held on to that and pushed myself beyond my fears and went
anyway. Yes, I had a million symptoms on my way there and endured
a great deal of suffering, but I survived and when I arrived I had
improvement in my health once I hit the dry air, made several wonderful
new friends, enjoyed the most beautiful landscape and wildlife I have
ever seen and found a lovely community I might like to live in some
day. If I had allowed my fears to control me I would have never
had this experience.
Sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised to find that the endorphins
released when you become absorbed in a fulfilling experience can
temporarily relieve your pain. If you can become completely
absorbed in the happiness of the moment you can transcend your symptoms
for a period of time. Sometimes the benefit you will gain after
the symptoms makes the price worthwhile. But then there are other
times when the best thing you can do for yourself is to rest and
pamper. The key here is balance so that you can continue to have
a happy, enjoyable and fulfilling life.
Of course we want to be reasonable and not push ourselves too much, too
frequently. We certainly would not want to push ourselves
to attend a function in a building that has recently been pesticided or
newly remodeled, but we can possibly attend an outdoor function where
we may have some slight itching or a mild headache. It can
be very tricky to find a healthy balance. Weigh out the benefits versus
the suffering and participate in those activities that have the most
benefit and the least amount of suffering and the least amount of
negative impact on your health.
My point here is that life is short. Don’t let your fear of your
symptoms prevent you from living. Don’t let your pain control
your life completely. Remember what’s most important in life
(love, family, friends and spiritual fulfillment). Make love when
you have a headache, read a book with your child when you are in great
pain. Write that book even though you can barely stand up.
Take a walk or go to the ocean even though you are aching
tremendously. Take risks and allow yourself to live in spite of
your limits while at the same time honoring your limits.
You can find lots of other holistic health strategies and alternative
health care tips for managing chronic illness in cynthia's book
"
Finding Life Fulfillment when Living with
Chronic Illness.
Being healthy does not mean being free of illness. It means being
as complete as possible and living life as fully as possible within the
limits that you are faced with.
If
you'd like a more personalized approach you may want to check out
Cynthia's
holistic health counseling.
